Lost in an airborne maze of the days again
It’s not as if
you can love who you want to
And the summer a gold mountain
awaiting Mohammed
And the summer the young couples
at the DIY superstore
cocooning
Goldrush, in autumn collapsing shafts of sunlight
pitfalls of memory
We grew suckers
and new limbs flowed
We slipped back into the sea
The currents took us

Overhead
the ethereal geometry of jets
scrawling their vapourtrails
You can’t get out of this place
No one can
but they keep trying
It causes them pain
Cars take the pain away
or drown it in noise
And after all, forgetting
is almost everywhere
It’s almost everywhere
Almost everywhere
but here…

Was it all easier once?
That’s how it feels, sometimes,
and isn’t it what everyone says?
Things stayed in their proper place
cities were obedient
memories, too, and loyal like dogs: walk stay and heel
Now strange packs run through your dreams
wolves with eyes of china blue
You soar through your loneliness
a seat over the wing and the world topples as you bank
You try to get out of this steppe
with its skies out of Westerns
but you carry it all with you
It was put inside you the moment
you were born
As you grow older
it becomes more onerous and more beautiful
You have roads in your blood
Interstellar spaces where the meteors fly
it’s just another morning
A wilderness under your eyelids
Forests in the boot
You sleep running
and when you wake you are savaged by great packs
of snow-leaping wolves

Sometimes your children grow heroically still and their gaze
is as calm as a buddha’s
Where are they looking
as they look into the sea?
Where is the sea
in the gaze of your children?
When the years drift out like guests,
where are your children?
Where has everything gone
you put into your gaze, and held
so close?

You thought your life was something you built
possessed a subtle architecture
a certain logic
But the guests drift out drift away
the clouds take the stars
Out on the plain under vacant skies
the points of things are reduced then fade
like Venus in the morning
Your will is stymied by the graceful retreat
of the horizon before you
Momentum is lost
and direction grows mythical
And your life has no castle no keep no sturdy walls
it didn’t start here
but just came to rest for a while
where you stare at your children gazing
at pause from their play
out to the sea which gathers them
calls to them dazzles them and then
lets them go

Things tremble and roll, skeeter and float
glisten like thistledowns
The foundations are clouds
Your life didn’t start here didn’t start
with your life
It all came from far away
It’s windblown
Lie down though
and rest inside me while you can
In a moment
the wind will blow again
and we may be carried away
But don’t be surprised
It’s not as if
you can stay where you want to
It’s not as if
you can choose when to love

Advertisements